Wednesday, 10 September 2014

To my Facebook Friends

I don't need to tell you I've had a baby, by now you know. Unless you blocked my updates whilst I was pregnant of course.

Yes, I've had a baby and my life has changed. I post pictures of her and write status updates about things we've done together, new things she's learned to do and ways in which she compares to bringing up a kitten. Something I did the year previous to becoming a mother.

You may think that becoming a mother has changed me for the worse, some of you may even have commented on it. All I write about is her! Who have I become? I'm one of those mothers. Before long I'll have a whole hoard of children and I will have become a shell of my former self. You pity me. Whilst you are out having a life, drinking, working, having political opinions about things which don't involve children, I'm at home, in my pajamas, changing 100's of nappies a day, cleaning up spaghetti (because let's face it, it's always spaghetti), sobbing into my cereal at what my life has become and staring lovingly at my snot covered parasite.

Actually no. That's not what I'm doing. Believe it or not, my life rarely involves cleaning up spaghetti. 

I do have opinions, I've always had opinions. Becoming a parent has not stopped me having opinions, it has only widened the range of opinions that I have. I rarely post anything political or overly opinionated on Facebook, because I know a variety of people, some of whom would agree with me and some of whom would disagree and I don't need to have arguments over the internet, because it is difficult to come across well using text and I don't seek to get involved in internet 'dramaz' on my facebook profile. Having a child has not made me less political or opinionated. I didn't post those things before and I don't post them now. Maybe having a child has given me a little less time to waffle on and waste my time posting rubbish, but that's it. It hasn't stopped me from signing petitions, writing to MP's or being angry about things. If anything, bringing up a baby has given me more things to fight for and be angry about. I just don't post it all on Facebook and when I do, it tends to be in closed or secret groups.

Having a baby has made me feel empowered. I do not feel a shell of my former self, or that my life has been taken over. I am busy, yes. Looking after a baby takes up about 80% of my time, but that only makes me feel that the other 20% of my time is more precious and worthwhile. I write, I paint, I cook, I learn new things. I meet new people. I have as much as a life as I had before if not more.

I do post pictures of my child yes. It's because bringing up my baby is what I am doing right now. Just like when I was at University I wrote about that and no doubt posted some shots of nights out and student goings on. Now my life is about my baby and I want to share what she has taught me, what a wonderful awe inspiring person I am seeing growing up and what a life changing experience I am having, and dear Facebook Friends, if you are not interested then you can stop following my posts, you can delete me, you can scroll past and ignore me, but please don't pity me, because I've never felt so empowered. 

I'm a mother, yes, but I'm still a person.